This is the story of David seeing Bathsheba bathing and then commanding her to his palace, having sex with her, and sending her back to her home, all while her Hittite husband was at war.
I think it’s a rape, and, despite what some anti-choice radicals believe, Bathsheba conceived a son from that rape. David calls Uriah the Hittite back from battle and directs him to go home and either sleep with his wife or wash his feet.
The Chronicler seems entirely uninterested in the Real Housewives of Jerusalem and does not even mention Bathsheba. 1 Chronicles 20:1 is identical to 2 Samuel 11:1, but then it immediately jumps to David meeting up with Joab’s forces and taking Ammonite King’s crown.
ON FEET
This is where I take a break to talk translation. In NVI, from David to Uriah, «Vete a tu casa y acuéstate con tu mujer». NVI drops a footnote that the command is literally to wash your feet. The same quote from NIV is, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” No footnote. Recognize that Bathsheba had informed David she was pregnant, so clearly David was trying to cover it up. Why is the NIV providing us such an opaque translation?
Who knows? It reminded me of Ruth 3, where she goes to lie at the feet of Boaz. And remains at his feet all night. Weird. It also reminded my of the sinful woman washing Jesus feet in Luke 7 or Mary the sister of Martha anointing his feet and hair in John 12. The cases with Jesus would have been pretty crazy if they meant sex, though, since the incidents happened with a bunch of people around. Sort of The Passion meets Caligula.