2 Samuel 13-15

So, this is some serious Game of Thrones shit now.  We’ve go incestuous rape, with the semi-justified fratricide.  Then fleeing of the murderer, then return of the murderer, then a revolt and a fleeing of the king.  In the middle, we have another allegory told to David.  This time by a wise woman posing as a widow (commissioned by David’s CINC to do it, btw) rather than a prophet.  The point is to make him realize he should invite the murderer back.  Which he does, which leads to the revolt.  P.S. in
describing how hot the murderer is we have this:

In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two hundred shekels by the royal standard.

2 Sam. 14:25-26.  Heavy hair is hot.

Also, the amount of rape in the Bible should be plenty of evidence to polite society of how common violence against women is.  Presumably, the Bible doesn’t advocate for it, but the fact that you can’t tell the story with out it tells you how awful the world is in general.

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